Stainless Glowing Keychain


If there’s one thing your guy should carry in his pocket right next to that thing he uses to make babies, it’s a hunk of metal that glows the exact same green glow as nuclear contaminated waste.

Keychains say a lot about the people who carry them.

If you’re a frat boy named Sean who wears a backwards baseball hat, your keychain comes with a bottle opener shaped like a shark’s mouth. If you’re that lonely lady in accounts receivable who has too many plants in her cubicle, always talks about her pet cockatoo and hasn’t had a second date since God made salt, your keychain has a little picture of your nephew.

But your guy’s keychain only makes a statement to one person: him. And that statement is, “Find me. I’m right here. No. Here. Like, I’m glowing. This is me right here.“

Keychains are made to be lost. And when your guy loses his, it always take 25 minutes and nine of his best curse words to find them. With this magic fob, however, he’ll be able to see them in yesterday’s jeans pocket, inside his backpack or right in front of his stupid face, exactly where you knew they were going to be as soon as he asked you to help him look for them.

Exposure to light charges it, and after a long exposure, it can glow for up to 12 hours. Made from stainless steel, the keychain encases a sturdy acrylic glow pellet that contains resin and “special glow powder,” which I’m sure is perfectly safe.



About Author

Andrew Lisa

Andrew Lisa is a freelance writer living in Los Angeles. Over the course of his life, he has received a mountain of gifts that were unusable, ugly, impractical and otherwise unforgivably disappointing. Many of the people who bought these gifts were decent and well-meaning human beings. They weren't bad people, they were just bad shoppers. All they needed was a little guidance and direction when picking out that perfect something for that special someone. He does not want your guy to suffer as he has suffered.