Gifts for Men | Valentine’s Day | Tommy Bahama Hankie


What’s the most boring thing in the world?

The movie “Hope Floats”? Harry Kissinger talking? No! I know! It’s beige searsucker cloth. OK. Let’s say your guy is wearing khaki pants and a sport coat made out of beige searsucker cloth.

Don’t worry, it’s just makebelieve.

Anyway, so he’s walking around town in his outfit, putting people to sleep just by looking at them like a comedy club hypnotist.

You stick a Tommy Bahama handkerchief in his coat pocket and — poof! Party on his lapel.

Suddenly, he’s got Polynesian girls in grass skirts putting leis around his neck and handing him frozen drinks made out of coconuts. What’s that you say? You live in Bismarck where there are no Polynesian girls and everything is gray and it snows all the time? You’re in the wrong corner of the Internet. You don’t need a handkerchief. You need a travel agent.

Either way, pocket handkerchiefs can brighten up even the dullest of outfits — but this is no ordinary handkerchief. With this handkerchief, Tommy Bahama brings a little bit of Hawaii to your guy’s wardrobe. Not the sad part of Oahu where impoverished locals smoke ice and drink clear liquor out of mayonnaise jars while their naked babies play in pothole puddles. No, I’m talking about the fun, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” part of Hawaii where people aren’t obese, they’re just Samoan.

The point is, this little piece of cloth can bring your guy’s most boring duds back to life.


About Author

Andrew Lisa

Andrew Lisa is a freelance writer living in Los Angeles. Over the course of his life, he has received a mountain of gifts that were unusable, ugly, impractical and otherwise unforgivably disappointing. Many of the people who bought these gifts were decent and well-meaning human beings. They weren't bad people, they were just bad shoppers. All they needed was a little guidance and direction when picking out that perfect something for that special someone. He does not want your guy to suffer as he has suffered.